Zombie Apocalypse Survival Tips, Raccoons and gophers and rabbit. Oh My! See… this is how it always starts. Very small. First with the cute and cuddly little animals rising from the beyond and attacking the unsuspecting. Then, me and my flock of festering freaks roll up in your hood and make a meal out of your friends and family.

I know it’s silly. You know it’s silly. But for some reason you’all living folk keep thinking that when me and my rotting gang of go-getters decide it’s time to rise up and make our ‘big’ move, that locking your doors & watching reruns of Good Times until we all zombie-types starve to uh…death (yeah, not gonna happen) is gonna cut the mustard. Well, lemme tell you. It ain’t.

Now, I don’t have a date or nothin’ like that though. But we zombies are coming. Some of us aren’t the brightest potatoes in the shed, and well, we may not be so very well organized… but don’t let that lull you into a false sense of security. Not that it’ll matter, but y’all need to be prepared. And since I have a soft spot in my skull for you geeks, I decided to allow this handy little list of tips and tricks to avoiding immediate death to be compiled.

Who knows? It might even keep you alive long enough for good old Obvious Zombie (that’s me!) to make it ’round your way and say hello… before I chow down on some of that sweet meat you hide between your ears.